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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25141096">Oh Flower, Do Tell</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyofWinterhell/pseuds/a-not-humble-bard'>a-not-humble-bard (LadyofWinterhell)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Let Jaskier Fuck [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Witcher (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Feral Jaskier | Dandelion, Gen, Jaskier | Dandelion Being a Feral Bastard, LMAO, Pre-Slash, a himbo and his bard, and it made this, but not really, dumbass comedy, ish, it pleases me, it's not his fault, jaskier is one funky dude, jk it is, just let him be happy okay, the author has one brain cell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 03:55:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,686</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25141096</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyofWinterhell/pseuds/a-not-humble-bard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Something's wrong. They're on the way to  Kaer Morhen and everything is going rather well, all things considered, so why is Jaskier so quiet? Jaskier, what did you do this time?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Let Jaskier Fuck [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1821190</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>181</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Oh Flower, Do Tell</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i wrote this for the same reason i write all my fic: bc i found the idea hilarious</p><p>this isn't beta read bc i dont have time for that</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>A cold breeze kissed his cheeks and played with the strands of hair that had escaped the braids Jaskier insisted on weaving, but it was gentle. There was nothing dangerous about this chill. It lulled his senses into a false state of relaxation, but his mind knew better. Lurking behind delicate nips of cold and the sound of crunching leaves was a harsh, deadly winter. But they were making good time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roach stayed to his left, matching Geralt’s pace. Trailing behind them, the witcher could hear the footsteps of his bard accompanied by the sporadic strumming of a lute. Altogether, the past few weeks had been kind to them. The coin was good, the townsfolk they came across amicable. Neither of the men had sustained serious injuries from their foes--Geralt from monsters and Jaskier from jilted lovers and jealous spouses. The pair had settled down for lunch, consuming a rabbit Geralt was able to catch with ease. Now, back on the road, his belly was full and his mind rather clear. One might even describe their slow pace forward as lazy. Of course, Geralt would never say that. But perhaps Jaskier would.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And therein laid a blooming problem: Jaskier was hardly speaking. Despite making every effort to enjoy his temporary peace, a little storm was brewing in Geralt’s chest. Something was wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The witcher peered over his shoulder, examining the bard as they walked. Jaskier had an air of contentedness about him, but it was only an illusion. His shoulders were too tight, his eyes slightly unfocused and elsewhere. Whatever he was thinking consumed his attention and wound him up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaskier finally noticed Geralt’s staring and met his eyes, offering a tight smile. Geralt turned back around with a sigh. They kept walking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jaskier.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Geralt broke the silence, unable to quell the jittery energy that filled his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm?” Was all he got in response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong Jaskier?” Geralt prodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was met with silence--which only made his insides twist into knots. If he hadn’t been certain that something was wrong before, he was certain now. Thinking back, he realized that it had been maybe five days since Jaskier had gotten into any serious trouble. There was the incident at the last pub, with the jars of jam and the torn up bits of parchment, but that had been more an annoyance than anything. Racking his brain, Geralt concluded that it had been indeed five days since Jaskier had run into a monster, ex-lover, or enemy of some sort. And Geralt knew that all good things come to an end.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whyever would you think something’s wrong, dear witcher?” Jaskier finally replied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not in the mood to pry information from Jaskier--but not at all placated with the fact that Jaskier, who told Geralt about everything that happened to him </span>
  <em>
    <span>and then some</span>
  </em>
  <span>, was avoiding answering, Geralt responded with a firm “hmm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was just...thinking,” Jaskier admitted, clearly understanding the witcher’s minimalistic form of communication. “Well, we’re going to your home for the winter, right? First time and all. Not for you, for me. First time you’re bringing me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Geralt did not respond when Jaskier paused, he only waited for the bard to continue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The witcher had no clue where this was going, and that was a terrifying fact.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, what if I told you I’d met a witcher? A different one. Not that I think you’d have a problem with me...</span>
  <em>
    <span>fraternizing</span>
  </em>
  <span> with other witchers, so to speak. But it could just be awkward, you know? If I had met a witcher before and then we show up like ‘oh hey wolf brothers! This is my bard! You’ve already met?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pinching his eyebrows together, Geralt frowned. A headache was already beginning to form in the back of his skull. Jaskier, who enjoyed fabricating details as much as he enjoyed leaving out essential ones, was not telling him something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why,” Geralt began, rolling his question around in his mind, “would it matter if you’ve met before?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence again. Nothing besides the sound of shoes and hooves hitting the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh well...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Geralt swore he could feel the anxiety coming off of Jaskier in waves, piercing his armor and amplifying his already elevated levels of stress.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, let’s say, that I uh. Geralt, you know me. I see someone beautiful and I can’t help myself. It’s not my fault, really, just the way of nature-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You fucked a witcher?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The noise Jaskier made in response was halfway between a yelp and a whimper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Geralt tried to collect himself. He wasn’t angry, he knew that. The stabbing feeling in his gut signified a different emotion, although he didn’t put much thought into what exactly that was. No, he wasn’t angry but he was definitely upset. He could just picture stepping through the threshold into his home and hearing one of his idiot brothers tease him about “sloppy seconds” or something just as undignified. The thought was embarrassing. Whether it was for Jaskier, his brothers, or himself, he wasn’t sure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another sigh escaped Geralt, as did most of his built up anxiety. The uncomfortable energy left a void. Suddenly, the witcher felt quite exhausted. The stabbing in his gut remained, but in the aftermath of apprehension it was easily ignored.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now don’t be mad, Geralt-” Jaskier finally strung some words together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not. Just don’t want to deal with it.” Geralt’s answer was short and to the point. It was also the truth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, well. Well that’s good then. It was a long time ago, you know. I was a young and-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Which one?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s very rude to cut people off, Geralt,” Jaskier huffed. “But if you want to know the name of the witcher, then I can’t tell you. Don’t even know if he was a wolf, to be honest. I was more focused on other, </span>
  <em>
    <span>more physical</span>
  </em>
  <span>, details.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The invisible knife twisted in his stomach, but Geralt ignored it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lambert. Maybe Eskel.” Geralt mused aloud. Lambert was the most likely, but he really wouldn’t put it past Eskel. Neither of them could resist a pretty face, and Jaskier could definitely be described as well beyond pretty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like I said, Geralt, I didn’t get his name. He had yellow eyes and a rough voice. Oh and that ass....sets. He seemed really, uhm, skilled. At his job. Witchering, and all...” Jaskier petered off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For some reason, this continued pattern of silence seemed to be wearing Geralt down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eskel has a nasty scar. Cuts over his eye to his lip. Can’t miss it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wasn’t him then. I didn’t get his name but I definitely spent more than a few minutes staring into his eyes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, Lambert then? What does he look like?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Geralt’s instinct was to respond with “a douche” but he kept the thought to himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Brown hair. Scar over his left eye.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not him either then!” Geralt heard the relief in Jaskier’s voice. “My guy did not have brown hair, nor did he have Eskel’s scar. Must’ve been from a different school then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Geralt couldn’t shake the stabbing, but he let it be. Overall, he was glad they got through that awful conversation. With any luck, Jaskier would be back to babbling his every thought and they could continue forward in relative tranquility.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know why I was so worried. It’s not like it would’ve been a big deal. Awkward, for sure, but who hasn’t slept with someone’s family member before?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaskier still trailed behind, and was thus unable to see Geralt raise his brow in question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another silence followed, but a glance over his shoulder told the witcher that it was temporary. Something on the side of the road had caught Jaskier’s eye. A little yellow flower, it seemed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Having plucked it, he heard the bard’s footsteps hasten to catch up and close the distance between them to it’s previous length.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Since he wasn’t a wolf, I guess I can tell you all about him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A chill ran down Geralt’s spine. It was inexplicable, without source. It came without warning and passed without imparting any usable information on the man. As if the gods sent him a message for the sole purpose of putting him on edge again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He was such a gentleman. Talked more than yourself, but I admit we did very little, uhm, talking. It’s hard to tell a witcher’s age, but I’m pretty sure he was older than you, Geralt. Still, he was in marvelous shape. Oh his muscles. I could wax poems about those glorious muscles...and his ass! I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to have an ass like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The headache that has begun to nest itself in Geralt’s head earlier surged forward once more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No wonder they called him the Beast.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Geralt stopped in his tracks. Turning her head to observe him, Roach stilled at his side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Actually, I think it was the ‘Something Beast’ only I can’t remember what that ‘something’ was...Wise Beast? Fierce Beast? Ancient Beast maybe?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sound of boots on gravel slowed to a halt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The Old Beast?” Geralt asked, carefully pronouncing each syllable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah that was it!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, the witcher turned. A slow, calculated turn. With a deep exhale, he met the bard’s eyes. The man’s expression melted from a bright smile to a concerned frown.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Geralt?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you remember the story I told you, about Vesemir.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” the words were barely a whisper. Jaskier cleared his throat. “Yes, of course. You said he was like your dad. Papa Vesemir. Another wolf witcher. And you absolutely forbade me from making any songs about him. How could I forget such cruelty on your part?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another deep inhale, this time closing his eyes as he did so.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s correct. He has another nickname too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaskier’s eyes opened wide, as if they were going to pop right out of his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Geralt!” he called, his voice wavering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s known in some parts-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Geralt...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Several things happened at the same time. Geralt finished his sentence. Jaskier turned to run. And Geralt...Geralt channeled his anger into the chase.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Geralt!!!”</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>let jaskier fuck</p><p> </p><p>i'm @pantoranprincess on tumblr. hmu to talk about geraskier/the witcher. fic suggestions are open too &gt;:3 bonus points for crack</p></blockquote></div></div>
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